Pain
by Catnipsy
Summary: Anakin and Obi-Wan notice their feelings for each other. As you can guess this is SLASH. *FINISHED*


AUTHOR: A  
  
TITLE: Pain  
  
RATING: PG-13 just to be safe.  
  
CATEGORY: Romance/Angst, SLASH (obi/ani). Don't read if you don't like it!  
  
TIME: AOTC  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters, they are all property of George Lucas etc. I'm making no money of this.  
  
ARCHIVE: Please ask first.  
  
DEDICATION: To my friend Farore who made me write this story and who loves Obi/Ani stories. ;)  
Pain  
Something was bothering Obi-Wan Kenobi. Anakin knew it. He could sense it through the Force. But why wouldn't his master tell him what it was? Anakin had been waiting for Obi-Wan to talk to him for a long time, but now it was time to ask it straight from himself. And after making this decision Anakin walked to the dining room to eat, he was hungry as always.  
  
At the same evening Anakin walked to Obi-Wan's room and he knocked the door and walked straight to the room. Obi-Wan was standing in front of the window. Anakin walked next to Obi-Wan.  
  
"Something is bothering you, master. Please tell me what it is." Anakin almost begged.  
  
Obi-Wan could sense how frustrated Anakin was. 'Maybe I should tell him...'  
  
They stood still for a while. Anakin knew that all he could do at that moment was to wait for Obi-Wan to talk.  
  
'Why is it so hard for him to talk to me even now?' Anakin thought.  
  
Then Obi-Wan started to talk. "I once left the Jedi order." And after Obi- Wan started to talk he told everything to Anakin. How he had felt when he saw Cerasi. He told Anakin how much he had loved her. And he told how he had felt when she died in his arms.  
  
Obi-Wan was very relieved. He hadn't told anyone about his feelings for her or how much it had hurt and how much it still did. Anakin was shocked. He had no idea what Obi-Wan had gone through. He just stood there saying nothing. He knew that no words could matter much.  
  
So at a heat of a moment Anakin leaned forward and touched Obi-Wan' s lips with his own. Surprised with all the feelings that run through their bodies  
  
they both stepped backwards and looked in to each other's eyes. Anakin leaned forward and then they kissed again passionately. Then suddenly Obi-Wan broke the kiss.  
  
"We can't do this..." Obi-Wan murmured. "It is against the rules". After saying this Obi-Wan walked away.  
  
"No don't-", Anakin begged, "...leave me." he finished his sentence. Frustrated Anakin left to his room.  
  
Anakin couldn't sleep. All he could think was the kiss. 'I wish that I knew what Obi-Wan feels, but he is so damn stubborn! Oh, come on Anakin! It was only a kiss! You shouldn't be bothered by it this much. Unless...'  
  
"Unless you love him." There he had said it out loud. It was a bit terrifying, but finally he had admitted the fact. He loved his master. He loved him more than anything else, more than life itself. And it wasn't fair that they couldn't be together.  
  
'All because of those stupid rules!' he thought. After a while Anakin fell asleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Next morning Anakin met Obi-Wan at breakfast. They avoided the subject.  
  
Finally Anakin couldn't take it anymore. "We need to talk in private."  
  
"Fair enough" Said Obi-Wan and they walked in to an empty room.  
  
"May I start?" asked Obi-Wan and he started to talk.  
  
"That what happened yesterday was a mistake. A huge one. So I think that the best thing to do is to act like it never happened."  
  
Shocked Anakin watched Obi-Wan. And then he got angry.  
  
"Maybe it didn't mean anything to you but it sure meant a lot to me! As a matter of fact I love you!"  
  
"Don't be silly. You don't love me in that way. Jedi's are forbidden to love. And the sooner we put this thing behind us the better."  
  
And after those words Obi-Wan's comlink alarmed. "I have to go. Did I made myself clear?"  
  
"Yes master, you did." Anakin answered. And Obi-Wan walked away.  
  
'How could he do that?' Anakin thought. ' I just told him that I love him and he just ignored it! Doesn't that mean anything to him?'  
  
Anakin sat on a chair. He had never felt so devastated. It felt like he couldn't breath, like breathing was so hard thing to do that he didn't have any resources to do it. It was like his world had been torn in a small pieces and there was no instructions how to build it up again.  
  
'I'll show him. I have to show him and make him feel the way I feel...' Anakin decided.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Anakin and Obi-Wan were at the elevator. They were going to meet senator Amidala. Those two Jedi were having a conversation but all Anakin could think was his feelings for his master. For the last time he tried to make a contact with Obi-Wan. In case of being  
  
eavesdropped Anakin said what he wanted to say in a way that only Obi-Wan would understand what he really meant.  
  
"I love you" he said.  
  
Obi-Wan heard what Anakin had said and he froze. At that moment he just wanted to tell Anakin that he felt the same, but he couldn't. He was a Jedi  
  
and he couldn't. So he just got on with the meaningless conversation. 'Nothing' thought Anakin. 'He didn't react at all'.  
  
They went to meet Amidala.  
  
'Maybe I should show him that I will not always be available.' Thought Anakin. 'And Amidala can help me with this task...' He grinned.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
At the Geonosis execution arena  
  
'I never thought that she would fall in love with me. What should I do? I don't love her, I love Obi-Wan. But Obi-Wan doesn't respond to my feelings. Oh, for the Force's sake, why does he torture me so? I can't do that to her, I can't let her world to be destroyed just because I wanted to play with her feelings. She has done nothing to deserve this, actually she deserves better... Maybe I just should tell her what she wants to hear.'  
  
But Anakin couldn't tell Padme that he loved her. Because he knew that it would have been a lie and he had already lied enough to that sweet creature. So he kissed her and let her think that he loved her back.  
  
And at the same time when he kissed her he knew that it was a lie but he didn't dear to tell Padme the truth. For some reason Anakin felt that there was no turning back. He had done something that would change his life and somehow he knew that it wasn't going to be a good change. But he ignored that feeling and the next thing he noticed was that they were at the arena and Anakin saw the one he loved in the middle of the battlefield in chains.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Anakin's hand was cut. Obi-Wan could sense the pain through their bond. At that moment he would have done almost anything to take away Anakin's pain. Obi-Wan crawled next to Anakin and at that moment he realised that he might just loose him. He actually might lose Anakin. And that was something he wasn't ready for. So Obi-Wan whispered to Anakin that he loved him. Over and over again. And he could feel that Anakin relaxed a little bit.  
  
But after seeing how Padme hugged Anakin and how happy she was to see him alive Obi-Wan knew that it was too late. It was too late and he couldn't be with the one he loved just because he had been so stubborn in the first place.  
  
Now it was Padme's turn to love Anakin and all Obi-Wan could do to help them was to give them his support. And after he realised this bittersweet fact he made up his mind. He would step aside and let Padme to take care of Anakin.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The wedding  
  
Obi-Wan walked in Anakin's room. Anakin was almost ready for the wedding. They were alone and Anakin looked Obi-Wan in the eye.  
  
"You know that I love you. I will always love you, no matter what. Funny that I'll have to say those words to her when all I really want is to give those promises to you. So tell me, do you love me at least a little?" Anakin looked at Obi-Wan and he knew that he almost begged.  
  
"Oh Anakin. I love you more than you can imagine. But it is too late for us now. You know it and I know it. I just wanted you to know that no matter what I'll always love you and you can count on me. I'm here for you, always."  
  
After saying these words Obi-Wan kissed Anakin once and then he left the room.  
  
When giving his promises to Padme all Anakin wanted was to Obi-Wan to stand there next to him instead of Padme, but he knew that it was just like Obi- Wan had said. It was too late for them. Still in his heart he knew that it would always be Obi-Wan's alone. And it hurt but he decided that one broken heart was enough and he would try to be the perfect husband to Padme.  
  
At the same time Obi-Wan watched Anakin and Padme at the altar. His heart bleed but nothing about the pain he felt could be seen on the outside. And during  
  
the ceremony Obi-Wan gave up the dreams, he gave up the one he loved and at  
  
that moment he did so he knew that nothing would be the way it used to be. He would never feel the same joy in his life as he had felt when he heard that Anakin loved him.  
  
All he was left with was memories. And the possibility of being Anakin's friend. At the end of the day Obi-Wan went to his room and cried himself to sleep.  
  
The End  
Please review! My first fic, so please be gentle! 


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